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+--- Thread: Wouldn't it be great................ (/showthread.php?tid=208980)
Wouldn't it be great................ - piratefish - 06-29-2005
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S.
>>PRESIDENT,
>>DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>>My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
>>been
>>completed.
>>
>>Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
>>our
>>mission in Iraq is complete.
>>
>>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all
>>American forces
>>from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
>>to begin
>>the reckoning.
>>
>>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
>>countries which
>>have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
>>short. The
>>United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of
>>the
>>countries listed there.
>>
>>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
>>world's
>>nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
>>copies of
>>both lists later this evening.
>>
>>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
>>those
>>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
>>saved
>>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of
>>the Iraqi
>>war.
>>
>>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
>>world
>>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
>>corruption.
>>
>>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>>
>>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
>>money
>>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On
>>that
>>note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
>>hunt you
>>down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
>>earth.
>>
>>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
>>China. I
>>am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>>France,
>>Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
>>retiring
>>from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>>
>>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
>>many UN
>>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhatt! an with more than two
>>unpaid parking
>>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
>>and crushed
>> I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
>>have tens
>>of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch
>>your
>>precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the
>>finest chop
>>shops in the world. I love New York.
>>
>>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
>>likely to
>>be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
>>pissing
>>us off for a change.
>>
>>Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
>>government
>>really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank
>>and
>>infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put
>>em? Yep,
>>border security. So start doing something with your oil.
>>
>>Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
>>starting
>>now.
>>
>>We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
>>for oil
>>in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
>>decades to
>>come. If you're an environmentalist who oppo ses this decision, I
>>refer you
>>to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
>>
>>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
>>citizens.
>>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
>>tootin."
>>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
>>the world
>>has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>>planet.
>>It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer
>>from
>>America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We
>>owe you
>>and we won't forget.
>>
>>To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn
>>to speak
>>Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can
>>read this,
>>thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
>>
>>(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
>>Let's get
>>this to every USA computer!)
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Re: [piratefish] Wouldn't it be great................ - jamesbe2759 - 06-29-2005
That would be great. But, you'll NEVER hear GWB utter one word of any part of it. I especially like the reference in list 2 to France, Canada & Mexico. Hell, I liked it all.
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Re: [piratefish] Wouldn't it be great................ - lunkerhunter2 - 02-20-2006
Very Very Very late but bravo!!!!!
LH2
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