Never talk to the other people around you unless it's to complain about something they have done that you don't like. All the other people out there are jerks. And never ask for help with anything, you will just make them mad. They're always unfriendly and don't care anything about others. Pay attention so that you can learn to be like them. Whatever you do, don't give them the benefit of the doubt, they'll just take advantage of you.
If anyone comes anywhere near you, make snide and rude remarks about how they are crowding you. When they walk right on past to their own destination don't apologize or wish them luck or anything. Just glare or flip them off. You own that spot and anywhere within 100 yards.
Remember that it's every man for himself. (Yes, practice sexism at every chance you get, especially if a girl outfishes you.) Keep in mind that this a competition. Keep track of how many fish everybody catches and brag about how much better you are doing than they are. And never share a hint about how to fish. After all, you had to learn it all on your own and they should do the same. It will build character in them to have to struggle. Don't waste any time helping anyone else. Time is of the essense, and you can't lose time you could be fishing to help the crybabies out.
Tell as many pointless stories as you can in a very loud voice and make sure they all feature you as the hero.
If anyone catches a nice fish point out that you have done better and belittle their success.
When you arrange to go fishing with someone else, wait until about 9:30 to tell them that you have to be home by 10:30. This will be sure to get you a lot more invitations.
Dad, be sure to bring all of your kids, the younger the better. They'll enjoy the day out with you, and mom will appreciate a day off. Don't bother bringing luxuries like food, drinks, diapers, toys, games or a heater. Stay as long as possible and learn to ignore whining and crying. After all, you want to engender a love of the outdoors and this should do it. Not to mention family bonding. Hopefully, the kids will notice the sacrifice you have made for them and will want to grow up to be just like you.
(Not really sorry if some of this sounds like it would apply to experienced fishers, too.)
If anyone comes anywhere near you, make snide and rude remarks about how they are crowding you. When they walk right on past to their own destination don't apologize or wish them luck or anything. Just glare or flip them off. You own that spot and anywhere within 100 yards.
Remember that it's every man for himself. (Yes, practice sexism at every chance you get, especially if a girl outfishes you.) Keep in mind that this a competition. Keep track of how many fish everybody catches and brag about how much better you are doing than they are. And never share a hint about how to fish. After all, you had to learn it all on your own and they should do the same. It will build character in them to have to struggle. Don't waste any time helping anyone else. Time is of the essense, and you can't lose time you could be fishing to help the crybabies out.
Tell as many pointless stories as you can in a very loud voice and make sure they all feature you as the hero.
If anyone catches a nice fish point out that you have done better and belittle their success.
When you arrange to go fishing with someone else, wait until about 9:30 to tell them that you have to be home by 10:30. This will be sure to get you a lot more invitations.
Dad, be sure to bring all of your kids, the younger the better. They'll enjoy the day out with you, and mom will appreciate a day off. Don't bother bringing luxuries like food, drinks, diapers, toys, games or a heater. Stay as long as possible and learn to ignore whining and crying. After all, you want to engender a love of the outdoors and this should do it. Not to mention family bonding. Hopefully, the kids will notice the sacrifice you have made for them and will want to grow up to be just like you.
(Not really sorry if some of this sounds like it would apply to experienced fishers, too.)
The older I get the more I would rather be considered a good man than a good fisherman.