02-03-2010, 07:08 AM
I know what your dealing with. as a youth leader I delt with it a lot over the years.
[font "Comic Sans MS"][#000000][size 4]they say wisdom comes with age, to bad we cant be born wise, we could all forgo the dreadfull trial and error learning process[/size][/#000000][/font]... "Quote.... "Dave T. Clown"
read all the way though...
my thought process is a little scattered at the moment. so read all the way though to get the whole meaning of my opinion. Hope it will help you build your your resorce of ideas of the conversational comment to use with him,
the problem could be an electronic addiction thing. there is a lot of that going around, the electronic addiction can be broken with love.
here is the thing.
together time is just that together time.
he has favorite activities, he has a graduation comming up, he has a lot of things that he is going to want you there for....
ask him how would he feal if on thies ocations you were there but sitting in the hall way or parked across the streed tying a fly or polishing a lure or sorting you tackle box?
let him know it is important to be there for each other.
dose he have a dog? ask him how would he feal if he went to take the dog for a walk and the dog ran off in another direction....
ask him how would he feal if he were with his girlfriend on a date and she walks 10 feet in front or behind him, or she gives her attention to her girlfriends or worse another guy?
in all those cases the fealing is the same.
let him know that the devise is driving a wedge in to all his relationships including the dog.
I know as a parent we want to give our children everything that we never had.... its human nature.
I think its good you made the step twards his side, now you need to bring him back by helping him to understand just what his actions mean, how and who they hurt.
there is nothing wrong with the game, nothing wrong with him having some me time on a camping trip.
I am going to be honest, I would pack some spare dead batteries and pack the wrong charger. worst case senario is that if I had to compete with an inatimate object, I am afraid it might get accidently left out in the rain or left under food where he could step on it or dropped in to the lake.
Its hard to compete with things and wrong influancene in life if you dont keep up the learning process.
rainy days they can be a blessing, especialy if its an all day soaker and you guys need something to do together.
one option is to make a rainy day pack and mark it rainy day pack. he will get the message when you place his electronics in that pack.
I would try talking to him first. before any drastic measures pre mentioned, but mind you I would do them if I could not get though to him any other way.
make your talk a personal one, ask him why dose he not love you, let him know that when you love some one you share each others lives, not just strange people in the same room together.
Love, its a give and take thing, we show our love for each other by spending time with each other doing what the other likes.
save the bird and the bees talk for another time....
But at an early age....
Let him know... what love is....
Love, its not enough to say I love you, all the cards and pressents in the world dosnt mean a thing if there is no one there to share them with. With out being there to guide the learning of what love is when giving pressents it can lead someone to spends the majority of their time in self grattifying persuits... this can and probably will be preceived and labled as a greedy person by the most important people in his life and will cause probelms down the road.
If not addressed this type of activity will only progress later in life, people will pick up on it, especialy the girls and even guys what ever the case may be... "same for girls"
[signature]
[font "Comic Sans MS"][#000000][size 4]they say wisdom comes with age, to bad we cant be born wise, we could all forgo the dreadfull trial and error learning process[/size][/#000000][/font]... "Quote.... "Dave T. Clown"
read all the way though...
my thought process is a little scattered at the moment. so read all the way though to get the whole meaning of my opinion. Hope it will help you build your your resorce of ideas of the conversational comment to use with him,
the problem could be an electronic addiction thing. there is a lot of that going around, the electronic addiction can be broken with love.
here is the thing.
together time is just that together time.
he has favorite activities, he has a graduation comming up, he has a lot of things that he is going to want you there for....
ask him how would he feal if on thies ocations you were there but sitting in the hall way or parked across the streed tying a fly or polishing a lure or sorting you tackle box?
let him know it is important to be there for each other.
dose he have a dog? ask him how would he feal if he went to take the dog for a walk and the dog ran off in another direction....
ask him how would he feal if he were with his girlfriend on a date and she walks 10 feet in front or behind him, or she gives her attention to her girlfriends or worse another guy?
in all those cases the fealing is the same.
let him know that the devise is driving a wedge in to all his relationships including the dog.
I know as a parent we want to give our children everything that we never had.... its human nature.
I think its good you made the step twards his side, now you need to bring him back by helping him to understand just what his actions mean, how and who they hurt.
there is nothing wrong with the game, nothing wrong with him having some me time on a camping trip.
I am going to be honest, I would pack some spare dead batteries and pack the wrong charger. worst case senario is that if I had to compete with an inatimate object, I am afraid it might get accidently left out in the rain or left under food where he could step on it or dropped in to the lake.
Its hard to compete with things and wrong influancene in life if you dont keep up the learning process.
rainy days they can be a blessing, especialy if its an all day soaker and you guys need something to do together.
one option is to make a rainy day pack and mark it rainy day pack. he will get the message when you place his electronics in that pack.
I would try talking to him first. before any drastic measures pre mentioned, but mind you I would do them if I could not get though to him any other way.
make your talk a personal one, ask him why dose he not love you, let him know that when you love some one you share each others lives, not just strange people in the same room together.
Love, its a give and take thing, we show our love for each other by spending time with each other doing what the other likes.
save the bird and the bees talk for another time....
But at an early age....
Let him know... what love is....
Love, its not enough to say I love you, all the cards and pressents in the world dosnt mean a thing if there is no one there to share them with. With out being there to guide the learning of what love is when giving pressents it can lead someone to spends the majority of their time in self grattifying persuits... this can and probably will be preceived and labled as a greedy person by the most important people in his life and will cause probelms down the road.
If not addressed this type of activity will only progress later in life, people will pick up on it, especialy the girls and even guys what ever the case may be... "same for girls"
[signature]