Bone-Headed Boaters at the Boat Docks

[r2u2]

As a float tuber I get to witness a whole lot of boater bozos without them even noticing me...mostly.  And there have been a lot of times when I have helped boaters get properly launched or trailered...sometimes with expressed gratitude.  Other times not so much.

There have been several times when I have served to retrieve improperly  secured boats that drifted away from the docks while the owner was parking their vehicle.  One of the choicest was on Magic Reservoir in Idaho.  While kicking strenuously to get back in...during a strengthening offshore breeze...I heard the sound of water slapping behind me.  I turned around just in time to grab the bow line of a small boat that had blown free from a poor tie down job.  Just about got a hernia (or hisnia) dragging that boat back the couple of hundred yards to where the owner was waiting on the dock.  As I handed him the rope he muttered something that sounded like "thanks", and then jumped in his boat and boogied.


Best "payback" happened late one sunny morning at the south marina of Willard.  I had a pretty good morning fishing but had to be back earlier than usual.  As I was methodically kicking my way to the ramp I heard giggling and derisive laughter.  A big wakeboard boat full of barely teens was looking my way and evidently had some clever things so say about my lowly craft.  They had been waiting for the "skipper"...hardly shaving age...to get down to the boat from the truck.  He got in, they cast off the ropes and hit the starter.  We all know that sound when there is not enough juice to kick over the starter.  Click-click-click.  The really bad news is that a building easterly breeze was moving Daddy's boat full of kids out toward the opening to the lake.  With nobody else around to render assistance, TubeDude to the rescue.  I kicked around to the front of the big heavy boat, reached up for the bow line and began the tedious kick back to the dock.  From that point on I did not hear a sound from any of the passengers.  Nary a peep.  Even when I got them close enough to the dock for someone to get out and secure them there was no "Gee thanks" or anything.  But I already had my reward...establishing my "ascendancy".

On one occasion I was privileged to witness the all too common scenario of a husband in the boat screaming directions (and obscenities) at his wife trying to back a trailer down on a busy ramp.  I ran up to the truck and had the wife slide over while I completed the maneuver...pulling the boat up out of the water to the prep area.  The wife thanked me profusely and suggested that I may have just saved their marriage.  Wonder what happened "the next time".

Pat, you didn't tell them of the time I launched the banana boat  leaving the paddle on the dock. Glad I had some one there to cry for help.