08-15-2005, 05:35 PM
HOW TO RELIEVE STRESS
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing
Cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask
if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For
Sexual Favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance
with the prophecy."
8. dontuseanypunctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.
11. Specify that your Drive-through order is "To
Go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and
play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party because you're not in the
mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I
Won!, I Won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
[signature]
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing
Cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask
if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For
Sexual Favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance
with the prophecy."
8. dontuseanypunctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.
11. Specify that your Drive-through order is "To
Go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and
play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party because you're not in the
mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I
Won!, I Won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
[signature]
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