You might be a Minnesotan if....

[DrownedDesertRat]

You might be a Minnesotan if....



You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.

If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina, Shakopee ,Winton and Ely.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy.

Men are men and so are the women.

You consider Minneapolis exotic.

A brat is something you eat.
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[UpNorthMN]

With the exception of the ketchup reference, that is so true it is amazing.

Here is another funny one. Honestly, I can read this word for word and it completely makes sense to me.

Are you a minnesotan? Just because you live in this beautiful state doesn't automatically make you a minnesotan. I stumbled onto this test that will clear up any confusion to whether you are a minnesotan or just an immigrant from some other state who is disquising yourself as a minnesotan. If you can read and understand the following dialog between two true minnesotans, then you can fly your flag high and say proudly, "I am a minnesotan donchano."
Ven two Minnesootins meet oop nort on da lake fichen.
"Haydair."
"Lobuddy"
"Benearlong?'
"Coplhours."
"Crieps, cetchenenny?'
"Yepgoddafew"
"Vairdaybittn?"
"Oberdair"
"Kindarday?"
"Valleye ennordern."
"Ennysizetooum?"
"Cuplapowns."
"Oofda, bittenard?"
"Ya nohowdayar."
"Vahchaoozin? Dalindyrik?"
"Ohyeahdonchano."
"Fichen ondaboddum?"
"Rydoopneardaboddum."
"Howdeeperya?"
"Bouttvenyfeet."
"Oh, Vachadrinkin?"
"Hadacouplabeers."
"Velligoddago."
"Tubad."
"Seeyaround."
"Yeahtakideeze."
"Guluk."
"Youbetcha."
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[UpNorthMN]

Here is some more truths.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota. If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota. If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Minnesota. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota. If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.
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[UpNorthMN]

And another one,

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners
and
Californians cross Minnesota, this state's Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help
outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each
driver
entering the state:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it.
Drive it or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name
for those little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You can bring Coke into my house but it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends.
We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two
weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to.
So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
16. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the ball into the water hazard. It
spooks the fish.
18. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot ... his name is, "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
19. We eat hotdish. We drink pop. Its not casserole, its not soda, get used to it.
20. 40 degrees is not cold. You don't have to complain and wear layers of clothes. At 40 degrees we're wearing shorts and we drive with our windows down.
21. Farmer tans are acceptable. Its a sign of hard work, don't like it?
Don't look at it.
22. Yes we do have a lot of lakes, also a lot of trees. We build around them, we don't fill them in, tear them down and then create new ones where we want them.
23. Woodticks are a fact of life. So are mosquitoes.
24. No really, that outback hat and kacky shorts really make you look stupid. Please take them off.
25.Learn to say the word sauna correctly. No, you usually don't wear clothes in these things and yes it is supposed to be this hot in here. If you can't take the heat sit on the floor!
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